Sep. 3rd, 2010

Wonderful

Sep. 3rd, 2010 12:03 pm
book_of_daniel: (Gap1)

Yesterday I decided to finally quit procrastinating on a few long simmering "to do" list items so I put on my big boy pants and set about making things happen.  For instance, I finally forced myself to call my insurance company and open a claim on Bart, my little black jeep.  A month or two ago during a particularly breezy afternoon, the wind blowing through my carport caught hold of my storm door and flung it open hard enough to send the glass window pane flying through the air and into the side of my accident magnet 4x4.  The glass window pane was surprisingly fine.  Bart, however, sustained a nice six inch wound on the driver's side door....

...right where I'd see it and flinch each and every single time I got into the jeep. 

This could not remain unaddressed.

Now you'd think this would be an easy enough call to make but instinct told me to stretch, eat some carbs, and warm up a bit before dialing the number for Allstate.  My instincts were correct.  The claims rep I spoke with was nice enough but she simply couldnt grasp the concept of what happened until I finally broke it down to her as, "My house crashed into my parked jeep." 

I'm not convinced that in the end she understood exactly what happened but a claim was opened.

This morning at 8am...which to someone who works nights like me is 3am...the repair shop called to make the appointment.  Barely awake enough to rip Wheezy, my iron lung c-pap machine, off my face, appointments were made and details were finalized.  I think.  I'm not sure if the receptionist was trying purposely to present the affectation of an SNL character or if she was the stereotype on which sitcoms are created.  She used the word "wonderful" like 30 times in our three minute converstation.  Wonderful pronounced WUNNNERFUUUUUULLLL. 

WUNNNNERFULLLLL.  Bring your jeep in at 11am on Thursday, ok?  WUNNNERFUUUUUULLLL.  Do you need a rental car?  WUNNNERFUUUUUULLLL.  You have our phone number? WUNNNERFUUUUUULLLL.WUNNNERFUUUUUULLLL. Your insurance information?  WUNNNERFUUUUUULLLL. Do you need directions? WUNNNERFUUUUUULLLL.WUNNNERFUUUUUULLLL.WUNNNERFUUUUUULLLL.

It was as if Lilly Tomlin was spoofing Jersey Shore. 
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Out of the blue I had an idea for a book this morning but I'm not sure if it's something that's been done before or not.  It's the kind of idea that I'd expect to find done to death already but I don't recall ever seeing anything like it.  Make sense?  Yeah, it doesnt to me either but you'll have that sometimes.  It's a very commercial idea as in I don't really see the idea as a book so much as I do a screenplay for a movie.  Not a good movie, mind you but a very commercial bad movie; a February release starring badly over acting Hollywood names like Jack Black or Jim Carrey.... *shudder*...kind of deal.   Commercial enough I could actually work vampires into the plot.  Yeah.  That commerical.  Thank God my soul whithered and died centuries ago. 

Maybe the idea will fade.  Maybe it should.
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Today I'm using [livejournal.com profile] vastlymore  's spacing technique of differentiating topics with the _____________ markers.  It looks easy but LJ auto formatting is being a bitch about it.  Still, anything to remain relevant and cool, eh?  From time to time I think about doing a week long series of posts spoofing the style of other LJ'ers just to see if anyone would notice and/or take offense.  Then I see something shiny and the thought goes away.  Does that ever happen to you , my lovelies?  (Oops I did it again.  I should stop t....oh look...glitter....)
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Next month I'll be in Chicago for a long weekend with friends.  I've done Chicago in the Winter time.  It was god awful. I've done Chicago in the summertime. It was hell.  I figure I'll give it a go in Autumn. How bad could it be, right?  That's a rhetorical question, by the way.  I'm sure it will be nothing but WUUUNNNERFUULLLL.

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