Aug. 8th, 2010

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Friday afternoon I returned from the store to find my house unexpectedly hot.  My a/c would not power up with it's usual reassuring hum of arctic goodness and something in my basement smelled...well...burnt.  All of the dilithium crystals in the fuse box seemed to be ok but there was no making of the freezy-freezy. 

Panic ensued.  Idle speculation reigned supreme.  Professionals were called but could not be here until Monday morning giving my over active imagination two and a half full days to anticipate the worst possible scenario.  (More on that later...) 

Long story short, my a/c...possibly my entire heating and cooling system...broke.

Since I was already hot and sweaty, I decided to cut the grass.  I waved at my neighbors and hauled the mower out of the garage.  It wouldnt start.  No amount of cursing, sweating, or sweet whispered promises to Cthulu could spark it to life. 

My lawnmower broke.

The next day I hopped into my Jeep to run some errands and to find some sweet a/c in someplace public like a Starbucks or an assisted suicide center.  The jeep just clicked at me.  Clicked defiantly I might add.  I popped the hood.  I pretended to know what the hell I was looking for under the hood.  I slammed the hood shut.  I stomped around and cursed some more.  Ten minutes later the jeep started up like nothing had happened.  I'm not that naive.  I know something happened and could happen again at any badly timed occasion. So in my mind...

My Jeep is broke.

With my mind still overthinking my a/c problem, I decided at some point to try to figure out which breaker in the house controlled the system.  Since my breaker box is very old and nothing is labeled, I decided to take the plunge and reset all of breakers.  While this  had no affect whatsoever on the furance, the pc in my basement went crashing down for the count.  I think the power supply went bad.  While this is an easy fix...

My den computer is broke.

Other things broken this weekend: 

The thermometer I use in the smoker to make my chicken.  Broke.
The lawn chair I sat in at the neighor's house as they fed me consolation beers Saturday night:  Broke.
My bank balance and my will to live:  Broke and Broke.

The heating and cooling tech will be coming by the house tomorrow morning.  While I do have a kind of/sort of warranty on the system through my 10 dollar a month gas line warranty, I've learned in my 41 years to not get my hopes up. 

Best case scenario:  The HVAC tech says my entire system is fried and recommends a complete replacement that my insurer must kick $3000 dollars toward as part of my coverage.  The tech quotes me 5k for a new furnace and a/c for the house and a $1500 dollar tax credit knocks the entire system down to $500.

Odds of this happening:  About 100000 to 1.

Worst case scenario:  The HVAC guy blames something electrical.  I call in an electrician who blames the HVAC guy.  Bills begin to mount and whatever part has gone bad is insanely expensive and not covered under my warranty. 

Odds of this happening:  About 50/50.

I'm glad I'm going back to work tonight.  Im running out of things to break here at home.  I think it might be best however if I stay the hell out of the server room for a few days.


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